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Sneak Peak: Paula Deen’s New Network and 4 Reasons it will Fail

I still can’t believe that Paula Deen is actually launching her own network. No let me restate that, I can’t believe that someone is giving Paula Deen $100 Million dollars to launch her own network.

This will not be like OWN, which was nearly a disaster for Oprah, this will be a subscriber based internet network where Paula will broadcast exclusive videos. It will be like a cooking show with guests broken up into webisodes starring your favorite Southern Belle.

Deen said that she was approached by producers to host a new show on television, but says she rejected the offers because she will have more control by hitting the internet. During an interview with the Wall Street Journal she explains,

After much research and talking to our fans, this is what they wanted. They wanted to be able to watch me anytime, anywhere, any place, IPads are so much lighter to tote around than a TV. In a network program, you only have 22 minutes. The fans are going to see things they have never seen before. They are going to see all of me.”

Paula and her investors are banking that she has gotten over the scandal from last year where she admitted to using racially insensitive remarks. The key word being “admitted”. After the admission, she lost about 12 sponsors and her show on the Food Network.

Her investors are delusional. They say that since the scandal her social media presence is on the rise, bragging that she has six million followers between twitter, Instagram, and facebook. They also say she has an email list with over 1 million subscribers. [more…]

WHO THE HELL PUT UP ALL THAT MONEY?

A company called Najafi Cos, led by CEO Jahm Najafi. This dude is no dummy. He has a Masters in Business and Economics from Harvard and a B.A. in Economics and political science from UC Berkeley. He is also Vice Chairman for the Phoenix Suns. Aside from the Phoenix Suns and Paula Deen, Najafi Cos has investments in SkyMall, BMG music and the Book of the Month Club.

4 REASONS WHY THE PAULA DEEN NETWORK IS DOOMED TO FAIL

This is doomed because they are counting on people to pay money to see Paula Deen’s internet videos. I’m not just a cheeky gossip writer, I run 24 websites two of which are subscriber based. This will not work for several reasons:

1. GETTING PEOPLE TO PAY ON THE INTERNET  IS TOUGH – Subscriber networks need to do one of two things – Either charge a ridiculous amount per month for the service, or have the masses. NetFlicks has the masses so they can charge less than $10 per month. Paula Deen’s appeal is for older woman. Her website data shows just about no men visit her site and I’d say her average visitors are between the ages of 24 – 55. Any younger and they don’t care, any older and they don’t know how to use the internet.

2. SHE HAS OFFENDED HALF HER AUDIENCE – Now cut that 24-55 year old demographic in half. She’s offended just about every black person living. Black woman hold grudges and I bet you half my paycheck that she will have less than 5% of her subscribers as black women.

3. THE INTERNET HELP TAKE HER DOWN – The racial Scandal is too Fresh. The internet was the medium by which the scandal was spread and you are now attempting to profit through that same channel. I still remember the question: “Have you ever used the ‘N word’ yourself?”
And who can forget Paula Deen’s response, “Yes, of course.”

And then came the Memes,

4. SHE IS A PHONY – It all started when she had diabetes and didn’t tell anyone. She had diabetes and did not share her condition with her fans. Instead she helped them cook up every buttery, sugary thing she could think of, and told them to sprinkle bacon on top. All the while she knew she had diabetes. This charade went on for three years before she revealed it to the public on the Today show. That was when her star begin to fall and it has been on a steady decent ever since.

Jahm Najafi feel free to shoot me an email if you need advice on where to put your money. I understand you have a degree from Harvard, but I could think of a million different ways to better spend a $100 Million. Hit me up. Let’s talk.

Meanwhile here is a clip of what to expect from Paula Deen’s new network. The internet is a stomping ground of free content, it’s hard to believe people will be paying for this.

In the trailer, she kisses a pig and makes some lemonade, even if Kim Kardashian was kissing pigs and making lemonade naked – I still wouldn’t subscribe. (ok maybe for one month).