Tag Archives: Seth Macfarlane
Seth MacFarlane’s Top Ten Best Jokes of the 2013 Oscars.
I think Seth MacFarlane did and awesome job last night. Let’s face it; this has to be one of the most challenging gigs in Hollywood. You are entertaining the World’s Greatest Entertainers, not to mention entertaining the rest of us peasants at home that are looking to be overly entertained.
Talk about pressure! There is no doubt a lot of work and preparation went into MacFarlane’s routines. The man sung, he danced, he told jokes and he was surprisingly good at all three.
At times he was borderline offensive, but that’s what makes a good comic great. That’s why we like family guy and that’s why Ted took in $54.1 million in its first weekend.
In case you missed it, here are my top 10 Seth MacFarlane jokes of the night, from least to most offensive.
TEN: “This is a story of a man fighting to get back his woman who’s been subjected to unthinkable violence — or, as Rihanna and Chris Brown call it, a date moive!
NINE: “To give you an idea of how young she is, it’ll be 16 years before she’s too young for Clooney,”
EIGHT: “I would argue the actor who really got inside Lincoln’s head was John Wilkes Booth,” on Lincoln
SEVEN: “The film was a triumph and also a celebration of every woman’s innate ability to never ever let anything go,”
SIX: Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those “Nutty Professor” movies.
FIVE: Daniel Day-Lewis, your process fascinates me. You were totally 100% in character as Lincoln during the making of the movie… So when you saw a cell phone, would you have to go,’Oh my God, what’s that?!’ If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the studio lot, did you try to free him? How deep did your method go?”
FOUR: It’s okay for Quentin Tarantino to use [the n-word] because he thinks he’s black.
THREE: “We have finally reached the point in the ceremony where either Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz or Salma Hayek comes onstage and we have no idea what they’re saying — but we don’t care, because they’re so attractive,”
TWO: “The first time I saw him with all that dark facial hair I thought, my god, the Kardashians have finally made the jump to film,”
ONE: A lot of controversies over the use of the n-word in the film. I’m told apparently the screenplay is loosely based on Mel Gibson‘s voicemails.”
Let’s see if Seth is ever invited back.
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The TED R-Rated Trailer – You Have to See This, it’s Super Funny!
When I heard that Mark Wahlberg was doing a comedy that involved a Teddy Bear, all I could think of are the Eddie Murphy career killers (Yeah he made a ton of money but never regained his adult core).
Then I found out that creator of The Family Guy was behind this. Then I found out it was R-rated. So I was intrigued. After I saw this trailer I was in. There is no way that you can watch this 3 minute preview without laughing. I just hope they didn’t use up all the funny parts on the trailer. Who knew a Teddy Bear could be that funny – It looks like Wahlberg holds is own against the Teddy Bear as well.
Seth Macfarlane wrote and directed the comedy and he’s the voice of Ted. The theme of the jokes follows the same comedic formula as Family Guy but Macfarlane is able to turn things up a notch. He has more time and more liberties and takes advantage of both. Mila Kunis plays Mark Wahlberg’s, love interest and it also stars my favorite underrated actor Giovanni Ribisi.
Ted Hits theaters July 13th. Here is the R-rated trailer for TED.
Trust me, you won’t be seeing this trailer on TV anytime soon.
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15 Best Jokes From the Charlie Sheen Roast!
Next Monday Comedy Central will air the footage shot from this Weekend’s Charlie Sheen Roast. Ironically airing the same day as Ashton’s premiere on Season 9 of “Two And A Half Men”.
There is no doubt a lot will be cut, just to keep the show moving, and it was obvious that some roasters shouldn’t be roasting. Do you remember the Situation during the Donald Trump Roast? That was indeed a “situation”.
The Roasters included: William Shatner, Kate Walsh, Jon Lovitz, Patrice O’Neal, Amy SchumerMike Tyson, Steve-O, Jeffrey Ross . . . and “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane, who served as the “roast master.”
15. “How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.” – Jon Lovitz:
14. “According to the Torah, Charlie’s a Jew. Not because his mother’s Jewish. But because CBS paid him $50 million and he still sued the network.” -Jon Lovitz:
13. “Of course they fired you, Charlie. Every time the writers tried to put new lines in the script, you’d try to snort them.” – Ross
12. “Charlie, no one can make fun of your iconic films. Platoon. Wall Street. Platoon. Wall Street.” – Ross
11. “Charlie, the crazy thing is that you thought you could keep your job after calling your boss a ‘Jew kike’. If people could keep their jobs after calling their boss a ‘Jew kike’, then everybody would do it.” – Anthony Jeselnik
10. “Charlie and I have a lot in common. We both love porn, we’ve each done a ton of drugs, and neither of us are actors.” – Steve-O
9. “Two and a Half Men is so bad that it stars Jon Cryer.” – Amy Schumer
8. “Charlie, you’re how old? 46? Then how come we look like we went to high school together?” – William Shatner
7. “Don’t you want to live to see your kids take their first 12 steps?” -Jeff Ross
6. Comparing Sheen to Bruce Willis: “You were big in the ’80s, and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” – Amy Schumer
5. “This roast is so full of nobodies, I was hoping I’d get replaced by Ashton Kutcher.” – Jeff Ross
4. “Your nose is like my ass, there’s nothing you won’t shove up there” – Steve O
3. Mike Tyson has beaten every opponent he’s ever faced — except the letter S.” — Seth MacFarlane
2. “Charlie, the only reason you got on TV in the first place is that God hates Michael J. Fox.” – Anthony Jeselnik
1. “You’re how old, Bill? 80? Well, the next time you star in a series, it’ll be called Shit My Dad Is Sitting In.” – MacFarlane to Shatner
So the question is, will you be watching The Roast or “Two and a Half Men” next Monday.
-Cosmo
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